this exists somehow
A few days ago I shared my soon-to-be eternal love for the magical heaven gold condiment masquerading as Mango Ketchup (I say “soon-to-be” because I can’t legitimately profess my devotion until I’ve actually, you know, tried it). Today we move from the combination of two items that perhaps should have been together all along, romantic comedy-style, to the combination of two things that happen to be things that someone combined for no discernible reason, henceforth to be known as Pierre Hardy-style.
I remember reading in the special Time Magazine Style issue (which, at least when I was 11, made me feel super cool and sophisticated) that neoprene was going to be a new fashion fabric. It was all over the Milan runways, or whatever they say in Time Style. Anyway, I have not really seen much neoprene since, which seems appropriate and logical in the world of reality-related items. UNTIL NOW.
There is no reason for this.
No. Just… no. For one thing – what? As weirdly comfortable as this actually looks, where does one wear it? Unless trying to seduce this guy, I don’t know.
Franz from the Life Aquatic - get it? Because of scuba! (And also how adorable yet creepy this guy is. What? It's true.)
And for another thing, this does not have the required level of irony for a shoe made of patent leather and neoprene. It should be multicolored 80’s neoprene, or at least pretty patterned neoprene, or at least interestingly-colored neoprene. Right now, it just looks like the kind of thing you give a quizzical look to in its corner at American Apparel, and then you move on with your life and keep looking at convertible jersey dresses in a variety of colors.
I do have to give a shout-out to the Barneys weekly emails for bringing this to my attention, though annoyingly enough without a downloadable image, which is why the photo links elsewhere. I recommend the Barneys emails. Considering the amount of explosions present in my preferred television, looking at the pretty jewelry and sassy Simon Doonan commentary keeps my girly side strong. At one point I saw a video where he got really excited about ridiculous fringed boots that I seem to remember were purple. He may have petted them like friendly woodland creatures. Keep up the good work, Doons!
Wow, this post took me way too long to publish. But I got both Michael Bay and Wes Anderson in here, at least tangentially, so I think I’ve made my point? Yeah, I thought so.
Yours in a tux and beanie,
Emily
